Rainbows, packing and the girl that came with wine!

We are only constrained by the limits of our own mind, if only we could accept the diversity amongst us as a part of the beauty of our humanity, life would somehow be much better.

Yet instead we fight, we destroy and we try to hide our diversity to conform to some ideological norm, that has long since had its day, it seems we are insistent on a “right and  a wrong.”

Like we are instant on only looking at the two edges of a rainbow and in so doing miss the beauty of the very thing we are trying to see.

Starting to pack my life into box’s, ready for the move it seems funny how easily I can condense  my life into little brown box’s labeled kitchen or lounge and just how much stuff I have acumiltated….some of which I had forgotten I had! it makes me wonder where do I fit in? Which box….kitchen or lounge?

Yesterday, early evening I am condensing and sorting, putting things in box’s filing my life into sections, when there was a knock on my door, a relatively new friend with wine, she was feeling a little down and wanted to be around somebody.

We met some weeks back, whilst out running, we had been running the same route for a while, the story of how we got talking is slightly amusing, I will save that for another post!

She is a girl that I don’t know, but starting to know through our random and crazy running chats, I like how life does that, how it twists and turns, once we were random strangers, now she is at my door with wine!

We are drinking and chatting, I forgot how much I miss that and we are packing my books, “You have too many books!” and that makes me wonder, if you can ever really have too many books? I like my books, I love to escape into each unknown world as I open the cover and start to read, I love being transported away meeting new people seeing the rainbow for what it really is…..not just the ends.

Sometimes I will grab a random book from the shelfs, read a small passage and be instantly transported back to that place and that time, each book holds a small piece of me a snap shot of where I was, who I was at that point, a memory, locked forever in the words.

If there were no more books, no more beautiful words to read, I would have no meaning.

I love to explore with my reading, sometimes I will just randomly go to a bookshop, pretty much close my eyes, grab something of the shelf and buy it, I don’t even take the time to read the title…..its the thrill of what I will unravel, the mystery of the unknown.

I have found some real gems, discovered authors I would never have touched and I have also been stuck with some lemons….like a rather embarrassing purchase of “The history of Gay Porn”….yes I did that! Wasnt till I hit the check out and the girl looked at the book, then at me, smiled in that “O Right” kind of way, that I read the title, at which point there was nothing I could do but pay and leave as quickly as possible!

I have never revisited that shop!

As we are drinking wine and packing my books she comes across a title that excites her and suddenly this girl I run with, the girl who came with wine feeling down, is alive, I can feel the passion burning from her, (it wasnt a subject matter that really interested me) but I loved how excited she was to be talking about this….when suddenly she pauses “I am sorry I am boring you, silly I know I shouldnt talk about this, I am just being dumb forgive me!” As quickly as she came alive she is dead again.

That moment pretty much stole my breath, as in that instance, I knew that someone, somewhere on her timeline, has told her she is dumb for her passion, to shut up and stop going on about it because it did not interest them and they were bored.

Once again we are back at that rainbow, seeing only at the top and bottom, someone chose the right and wrong, someone took the colours away for her, the pleasure from her passion made her feel stupid for being who she is and in so doing not only missed her rainbow, but took a light from the world.

The worst part is, in my past I have done this myself and I hate that.

I laugh and point out it’s not dumb or stupid, and how gifted I feel for her opening that small window to her soul, letting me see the beauty of her rainbow.

We drink and talk more and the packing is not going so well, in fact it’s about 3am when I walk her home (read stagger like a drunken fool) and I awake this morning hung over to a rather reduced wine selection (One less thing to pack) and a text message on my phone saying “Thank you for last night I needed that, now my head hurts and wont be running today, we will do double tomorrow if you think you can handle it x”

We don’t ever have to apologise for being who we are, we just have to accept every rainbow is different, no two colours will be exactly the same, what I see or you see isn’t right or wrong….Its just the natural beauty of humanity, I have no more right to judge than you, we were born as one and will die as one…..so in between…..just apprciate the beauty of life!

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~ by Duma Key on May 21, 2016.

One Response to “Rainbows, packing and the girl that came with wine!”

  1. I loved the comparision w/ the rainbow….made me smile….reminded me of a book my daughter and I read…we always read each night together until the last couple of years…shes getting too old to read w/ mom I guess…but it was about a young girl whose mother was mentally ill and killed herself…the girl went off to live w/ an aunt and it was about this girl…with all the challenges she had in life..about finding her fire…what made her passion burn inside of her…your rainbows reminded me of that book….of those times I used to read w/ my girl…ok…im babbling…lovely story….I hate packing but it is amazing to find things we had forgotten about…fun times for you

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