Old Ghosts, life and some random rainy day thoughts

This week, I seem to be surrounded by old ghosts, shadows that cross my path,

trigger memory and thought.

Not all of the choices I made, nor all of the things I did were right, but I tried, and in the most part, I did what I thought was right, not always right for me, but more often than not for a common good, much higher than mine.

“…..And always for the ghost of time that passed…..”

The very definition of crazy, is doing the same things over and over again and each time expecting a different result.

There is no future in the past and for a while I thought all that was left, was regret, regret for things left undone, the words unspoken, the wrongs we did and the wrongs we did to each other.

But I was wrong, what lays in the past is more often than not the doorway to tomorrow, just a different tomorrow than we first envisaged.

The key to that door is “forgiveness” not only of the actions of others, or the choices they made, but of self.

We each make choices right or wrong based upon the “information set” that lays before us and the circumstances we find ourselves in, with only our own knowledge and experience can we navigate this “information set” and make those choices.

I can not see the “information set” another person works with, as I can not be them any more than they can be me, so therefore I can not say what was right or what was wrong nor can I judge their choices because of the impact upon my own life.

When truth is a relative concept, it’s a tricky business, truth is only pure upon its birth after that it becomes subject to interpretation, perception and our own individual “information set” therefore who can truly say what is right or what is wrong?

I can not dwell on yesterday longer than I needed, to find that forgiveness, just the same way I can not bring Carla-Jayne back from the dead.

Cinderella got her happy ever after, the dream wedding, the young prince, the castle in the clouds………..

Was it right or was it wrong? Who am I to judge? It matters not.

What matters lays much deeper, like a bone inside a leg! It’s the reality that all I wanted was Cinderella to find her happy ever after and so if in someway I helped towards that, I did something worth while and if not, well at least I was there with only the motive of “this shit matters”

It’s about trying to improve as who we are, it’s about the ghosts from the past, and the things we do to get better……

My “information set” grows and I learn….I here a lot people say I wish I could go back in time….change this and change that, I even fell into that trap myself, but the reality is…..if we could go back, change things would we? because we would not be who we are today, the “information set” would change and we would probably end up “bad people.”

It’s hard to forget, its hard to forgive, but the picture is bigger than what our eyes can see and may be there is some master plan?

So as I walk my path…..sometimes I stop, pause and look back, just to see how far I have come……..to forgive the mountains I have climbed, the nettles I have walked through, the snakes that have bitten me….they were only doing what their life experience, and “information set” laid out…..and more importantly to forgive myself for the wrong choices I have made, the wrong turns and the pain I caused, as like the snakes….I did at the time only what my “information set” held……..

I once wrote a post a long time ago, about mirrors and image how I couldn’t see me…..and now sometimes when I look in that mirror,I see the edge of a person a shape that starts to form.

Well this post started out about the UK elections…….!


~ by Duma Key on May 8, 2015.

One Response to “Old Ghosts, life and some random rainy day thoughts”

  1. I dont recall seeing anything about elections in this post…I hope you are forgiving yourself and finding that image in the mirror…its always a journey I think…then you start to lose pieces of your information set…and your like what?? when?? how?? I call it menopause…haha

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