Positivity Day 2 and …..Gender equality and Internet Dating…….!

Second night of the week over, I seem to have slept much better today, much less fragmented, though I am struggling to get myself up.

Last night turned out to be quite profitable, a lot of unexpected business secured and I pretty much earned in one night what I normally do in a week!

In the spirit of positivity flowing through this week, I thought today I would do a light re-cap of the internet dating progress, or lack off…..!

Years ago we fought for gender equality, quite rightly but I am starting to realise that it’s become kind of a pick N mix equality, never so apparent than in my venture into internet dating.

Firstly girls do not message guys first, they look at profiles, like comments or photos, but do not categorically send that first message. Ok so this I can live with.

So 3 potential prospects I have been talking with.

Girl number 1, University educated, likes a lot of the same books I do, similar music and several other common points.

2 years younger than me, no children and no real baggage as far as I can tell, though it’s still like that cat and mouse stage….trying to work out if each of us are really telling the truth or just playing the game.

(When did life become so bloody complicated?)

Anyway we have been talking on and off for the last few days, more on than off, she stayed up late last night chatting while I was at work, and I stayed up late this morning chatting while she was at work.

Anyway to the point……. we are having a bit of a light hearted conversation this morning, joking around about the future when she says her idea of a future is to “find a good man to take care of her, so she can give up her job and become a lady of leisure.”

Now is it just me, or is that wrong on so many levels?

Let’s get back to gender equality……. that statement from a girl is kind of reasonably acceptable, however now imagine if I had said the same thing to her.

Discussion between myself and male / female friends her statement would hardly raise an eyebrow…..

However me saying the same thing….. Now imagine her sat with her friends in the pub…..it would be like……so he wants to give up his job and bum of you?

The more I have thought about this, the more this gender equality thing……. is like a pick n mix!

I have a close female friend who in the 10 years I have known her, has never once paid for a meal or a drink when we have gone out together and that is relatively expected, I don’t think she has even offered to pay!

Women will often say, I will pay, or we split the bill, but how many would be secretly offended if we actually took them up on the offer?

Another of my friends recently went on a date, the guy insisted they split the bill and boy did she moan about that for weeks, subsequently they have not dated since!

I am kind of a little old fashioned that way, I would struggle with allowing a date to pay for dinner, yet by the rules of equality that technically is wrong.

The whole thing is fraught with danger, internet dating, dating in general, the male / female balance….. Like walking blind folded through a forest littered with land mines….. You got to keep going but at some point you know you are going to hit one of those mines!

It’s also as bad for women I guess, lot of guys out there that are just complete idiots, but then there are a lot of women out there the same.

Girl comes into a bar on her own, or a supermarket wearing a short skirt, looking good, other women instantly think slut, and guys instantly think….. Meal ticket.

What about the actual real live person behind that image? That label? Just an instant snap decision….. And the reality once more is lost, these ripples have implications that branch much further and deeper into the social system and life.

We need to start to educate our children and re-educate ourselves.

We will cover girls two and three later this week, I just wanted to write a lighter post.

So my positive today….. Is to look beyond image, beyond common misconception and to see the soul behind, to stand aside socially generated ideological bullshit and find the truth behind the lie.

It is the person I want to see, good and bad, not some crafted image or ideal outside the broken fragments of the crazy way we live.


~ by Duma Key on November 12, 2014.

One Response to “Positivity Day 2 and …..Gender equality and Internet Dating…….!”

  1. made me smile….I would love to be a woman of leisure…we have had a couple men retire here this summer and I am sooo jealous…but at the same time….I would love to travel but only with my husband…and I dunno…our neighbor, the father, stays home and cares for the kids while the wife works and I dont think anything of that…I like it actually…guess it depends….I guess I am bad in that I feel its the men job to do the yard…and snow plowing…uggh…how I hate to shovel snow…but that is wrong too right?

    anyways…I am just glad you are venturing out there…its crazy I know but sometimes…its ok…

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