Laying ghosts to rest, a wishing well and a girl in tight white shorts!

So today we did Wheelgates, my friend the baby, nephew and I. It was always going to be difficult, given that “S” the kids and I had spent time there, in that whole other life.

Awake at 6 sorting lunch, covering every eventuality, pulling the Rav out the garage and moving the Yaris in, today I needed the power of the Rav a reminder of who I really am.

Old ghosts playing on my mind, stood in front of the roller coaster remembering the last time I was there, the photos, the conversation, the call to the school, if I had have known back then what I know now, would I have played it different…..if I am honest probably not.

Indoor play area, nephew running wild, retracing the steps of yesterday, unbeknown to the innocence of his life, did I make a difference did I get it right? All I can do is make memory’s of today.

Small village area, nephew playing in the church as once I watched her children do, taking photos as once I did of them. My friends hand in mine, her words in my ear, “let it go…..mr hard man, you can’t fool me” and that’s what friends do, real friends, in the moment of need whisper in your ear.

So we played, and laughed, enjoyed the sun and the moment, hell I even got good at nappies, on my knee, almost one handed.

The children shattered fell asleep in the car on the way home.

BBQ in the garden, avoiding the rain, children asleep, few glasses of wine.

Now the house is silent, baby sleeps as does friend, nephew snores and soon too I sleep.

Back there a ghost wanders, times we shared and I almost threw a penny in the well and wished you back. What’s done is done and it’s true we evolve, always remember but never go back, so I raise my glass wish you well and hope your new life is all you ever wanted.

For me I am happier now, slowly finding my way and realising for the first time with out pretence, the girl in the white shorts, with the flowing hair too timid to try the slide, till I showed her the way actually caught my eye and you bet I got her number!

I will leave now with a quote from Camus “Because I desired eternal life, I slept with whores and drank for whole nights on end” in my own way I guess I become the judge penitent ………!

You will never know how much you cut me but that was a whole other life

Advertisements

~ by Duma Key on July 5, 2014.

One Response to “Laying ghosts to rest, a wishing well and a girl in tight white shorts!”

  1. “Back there a ghost wanders, times we shared and I almost threw a penny in the well and wished you back. What’s done is done and it’s true we evolve, always remember but never go back, so I raise my glass wish you well and hope your new life is all you ever wanted.”……….

    I also raise my glass to you Duma, in that you are laying those Ghosts to rest… and understanding we evolve and move through relationships learning and growing as we do…
    I see a totally new you emerging also, as you evolve and grow, You look back and I am sure if you are honest with yourself you would also see how used you were to a certain degree, and sooner or later it would have still come crashing down… For something to work both need to feel the same.. And your Ghost obviously didn’t ..

    Reading your posts as I have over the time I have come to know your through your excellent writings of your thoughts.. I can see how much you have grown.. How stronger you have become.. And how much more focused you are about not going back through those foot-prints of the past again..

    A new road you are calving and yes along the way they may yet be more bumps, no road is ever smooth… But I know you have shed another skin, as you peel away the old outer you that you showed the world..
    Emerging I see the Real you, the you that you always were but hid deep inside… For often revealing our true natures can have leave us feeling vulnerable.. And vulnerable you don’t do… As you needed everyone to see the tough exterior ..

    Peeling the layers takes time, each layer allows us to get closer to our hearts.. Those quiet reflective moments will peel away yet more… You will discern what feels right, and will follow with right action… Your inner guidance will be quicker at pointing you in the right direction. Following your heart, following your intuition.. Connecting back to self instead of allowing Ego to rule..

    I am proud of sharing in your thoughts Duma, and even prouder of who you are becoming…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: