Something so simple made so complex…….! And a whole other life!

Have you ever loved somebody that you really don’t like?

An interesting thought to ponder, just how is that possible?

One of the downsides of working through the night is having to sleep through the day when the weather is as nice as it has been these last few days! But then I like the isolation of the office at night, the deathly silence and the time to think.

My last few days off we’re occupied pretty much by my friend and her baby, her situation is harsh and as a friend, I can not right the wrongs of what has happened to her, all I can do is be by her side and try to make a difference.

One thing spending time around a new baby I figured that smoking is not compatible, the two do not mix and so after over 15 years of smoking, I am giving up, from 20 a day I am down to 4 for the last 6 days by the end of the weekend I want to be free.

We went out on Monday, she needed to be out of that house so I made some random excuse, took her and baby to a place I once went before, in another life, I forgot how much I missed that routine.

We walked and we talked, I changed nappies (them things are tricky compounded even more by baby trying to be a worm and wiggling around, bloody thing just wouldn’t stay still!) Gave bottles and gave my friend a break, I hope.

I picked her up in the morning, she has not been eating, one look around her kitchen gave me all the answers I needed.

Later that evening some bullshit excuse ( sometimes lies are justified) I took a trip to Asda, then whilst she bathed and baby slept, replenished the cupboards, filled up the fridge and left money for nappies and milk ( things I know nothing about, a wander down the baby isle made it apparent you need some sort of specialist training for nappies and milk!).

My work pattern falls and all I do, is work and sleep for 4 solid days no time for anything else and I wanted to be sure they are ok.

Like a thief in the night, my silent mission accomplished, I left for the night.

Later that evening, sat home mulling things over in my mind, reflecting on that whole other life and wondering if I got it right? In the end I think I made the right choices, did what was best, not for me but for someone I loved but just didn’t like and the innocent life’s it effected, I certainly made it easy.

Call from my friend, she cries as she talks, discovered my secret mission, loaded cupboards and dollar for baby stuff. I denied all knowledge, can’t have people thinking I care, that I have gone soft, got weak. I am the cold hard guy on the doors, that watcher on the wall, nice is not a word in my vocabulary and love is a language I don’t speak.

This is where life gets mixed up, people get mixed up, it’s not about recognition, it’s about doing what’s right, she is my friend, my blud friend, the baby an innocent, she came when she needed and I help because I can, I want nothing more than to see her fly once more, till then I stand by her side while she heals. It’s simple yet somehow so many make it so complex, games and lies.

That’s the simple reality of life do right by others in there hour of need, be right by yourself and try to do better.

I will probably still hurt the lame ass boyfriend that created this mess and swims away free, but that a fish I will catch another day, for now as the the sun shines, time for me to sleep, shadows rest in the day, darkness is my playground, night my time.


~ by Duma Key on June 13, 2014.

4 Responses to “Something so simple made so complex…….! And a whole other life!”

  1. I need say no more Duma, You just confirmed what I said in my last comment on your previous post.. πŸ™‚ :-D.. Big Smiles.. and we couldn’t let anyone think you were going all soft now could we πŸ˜‰
    Big hugs… You are one great guy… but shussssh now don’t let anyone know I said that.. πŸ˜€ It may ruin your image.. πŸ˜‰

    • Lol….yer let’s keep that silent……nice ain’t a way people describe me! Still we have to do what is right simply because it is right!

  2. I have read and caught up on the last few blogs and I see something…when you seem dark….traveling along dark thought and wondering your worth or your existence do you ever notice that always something or someone comes along in your life to engage you….to pull at your heart….to make you feel something other than your own pain but to feel anothers…to find yourself helping someone….helping them not see the darkness very long….you always give of yourself so unselfishly….do you ever notice that…??

    I think this happens to you for possibly a reason….to show you what a deep heart you have…that you have pain yet you still find yourself helping others not feel it….you give of yourself…

    one day Duma…a heart like yours….will come across another heart that gives…and I believe your life will change into something unbelievably bright…

    I thought you had found that not long ago…you seemed on the road to happiness for a bit….I always hope for you to find that road once again….your such a good heart

    now back to my coffee as I too work the late nights and sleep the days….its a life I choose to be a mom….I like being home in the mornings before school to help and then to be home when the bus arrives….but now its summer and oh my….as you can tell tonight…coffee is my friend…lol

    hugs to you

    • I have read this a few times, still lost for words as to how to reply…….thank you for your kind words and thought print!
      As for nights rebull and pro plus are my life! Ha!

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