The pursuit of happiness …..never judge a book by its cover.

People in someways to me are like mirrors, some reflect good, some reflect bad, but in all we can find our own reflection and change our own pathways, shape our own future.

There are some rare and inspirational people that step into our lives, one of those for me was a teacher, when I was in the last year of middle school, she was just one of those pure nature lights, good shone through her, she sent my life on a different path.

There are also the bad, but through them I am starting to see we learn the good, or sit around festering in a sea of hate, but that is a choice each of us must make. So despite the hurt the bad cause, we can always find good, just have to look, try that bit harder to find it.

Yesterday I was working in my friends shop, mid afternoon, when a rather attractive girl comes in, I would say mid twenties, tight shorts, crop top, clearly caught my eye.

We got talking about games, specifically the Last of Us, which incidentally still ranks as the best game I have ever played! The emotional content and the way things are moving in this genre, especially with the next generation games consoles.

The games are starting to become more about moral choice in an open world, you can choose to play as a good character, or a bad character. So for example InFamous Second Son, from the start you can choose game play as hero or anti-hero, choose to protect the innocents, heal the injured, or blast everything that moves, killing people and generally revealing in evil.

This choice system, this moral consciousness will endeavour to show itself more in Watchdogs next week, as a gamer, we make choices on our game play, are pricked by our moral fibre and become more involved in the world.

Anyway point of this blog is not to waffle about games, so back to the girl in the shop.

So as we talked about emotive choices, in game play, we touched on emotive choices in life, the human condition and our pursuit of happiness, how far would we go, what choices we make for that happiness we seek .

We had a laugh about a friend of mine who set up her marriage and the evening before the big day, said wow hang on this isn’t going to make me happy, despite protestations of family and friends she pulled the plug and walked away, it wasn’t for her.

She chose happiness over pressure and as it turns out worked out for the best, once the dust settled.

Hard choices, difficult decisions, but life is short and whilst doing the right thing we must also seek happiness to grow and fulfil ourselves, sometimes we need to walk away, sometimes we are wrong, other times it is us who need to change.

Flippantly I said to the pretty girl, guess this is the future of gaming and the future of life so much yet for you to see, hard choices, moral ethical decisions, not just which shoes to wear this evening.

To which she responded, I have already made my difficult choices, more than you would ever understand, more than most people, you see I was born a boy and with a smile she was gone.

The rest of the evening sent my mind into overdrive, to actually physically change so much in the pursuit of happiness, of personal, mental and psychological freedom, requires some strength of character, especially given all the adversity this person most likely underwent. Not something I understand.

There is me laughing about life being more difficult than choosing a pair a shoes, at 34 years old the hardest thing I have had to deal with is choosing the right path after the heart ache of “S” making sure I did the right thing, whilst balancing my own hurt. Yet this person so young, has chosen so much.

I guess you can never judge a book by its cover, young or old, being happy in our own skins, in out own environment has to be a fundamental part of who we are, what our life is.

Buy a scratch card it could be the one that changes your life, cross a road could be the one that ends your life, all we can do is act upon our moral fibre, chose what is right and choose to be happy against all odds.

So as the sun shines and Sunday blooms, I wish you all well and hope you find the happiness in your lives that you deserve.

Don’t be afraid to live.


~ by Duma Key on May 18, 2014.

6 Responses to “The pursuit of happiness …..never judge a book by its cover.”

  1. I dont play games so I cant comment there….will just shake my head and say yep…

    the rest of the story is interesting….sometimes you never know the path of others….where they have been….the choices they have dealt with….so be kind to all….love all….life is precious…

    I have been drawn of late myself to stories of dogs….the abandoned ones….abused ones….the rescues which save them and see their faces and I wonder…these poor little animals…where in the world has life led them so far to this point….yes I am thinking of becoming a foster but anyways….point being….

    dogs…people….you just never know unless you walk the path with them so yep…love them all….im in a very lovey mood this am….and too much coffee obviously…

    sending hugs

    • You should get a playstation, games, we developed games are almost as good as books, get lost in the world, I lost whole days to The Last of Us, the emotional ties, amazing!

      Dogs like innocents, shaped by the world in which we live, the development of who we are, spun over to there world, dependant upon us, yet oft people fail, as with anything in life, things take work, we have to work to get it right, when we fail innocents suffer, nice to see people like you, that care enough to make it right….mirrors in life…..the lost reflect by the found!

  2. Lovely post. Your words most certainly ring true. 🙂 xx

  3. Yes life is often too short.. and often choices are choices through feeling pressured into making them to suit others, rather than in pleasing oneself.. I know from my own teenage past choices how true this is..

    Living one’s life and being true to yourself is not always easy… But once you realise that its not being selfish in seeking your own happiness, then the pieces of the jigsaw start to come together.. Learning to be HAPPY with ourselves is the Key,, Learning to love and feel comfortable within our own skin is another key..
    We so often look externally in finding the Key to happiness.. Like choosing the character in the Game console.. We enact out our lives… Never really getting to know who we are, or getting to know what we really want in life..

    So often we try to fit into others expectations of us, and worry about their opinions,
    Its taken me 60 years and still I am learning, that this is my life.. and so many judge us by what they perceive on the surface ..
    I have overcome lots of prejudice especially from those who profess to be from the Happy brigade of Born agains.. Because I happen to have had mediumistic skills.. As they judge you are in league with the devil..

    Even a past employer who made things difficult … Being judged too on the past is another thing which gets to me..

    We are not who we were yesterday… and we have yet to grow into who we will become tomorrow..

    To be Happy,, we have to live in the moment… BE in the moment.. and learn that Happiness starts within.. When we are Happy with our state of BEing We then have found happiness..

    Great to see you progress along your road to it Duma…. xxxx Blessings

    • Read this book a while ago, talked about image and self, how we have to project image to protect self and so much so that self gets lost in image and we forget who we are.
      I was doing that, that was me for so long no emotional baggage, just a mask that moved from place to place.
      I have been back in my hometown now for 5 years longest I have ever stayed in one place, not an image but a brother, someone my blood lines come to to talk, the mask has gone and I work on the reality of me.
      Strange encounter, met many people in my life, some very dangerous people with deep dark souls, but that random chat again is another point of thought. Not something I understand but a point that’s made me think about the right choices in life and finding happiness.
      No one can judge another, no one has that right and I don’t want to be a person that closes of my mind to the wider spectrum of life, what matters is happiness and living………!

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