More dreams!!!!

So last night once more I dreamed of this baby, this time was a little different.

The baby is crying, not just crying but bawling, it’s unhappy and there is just the two of us.

It’s nappy is full, it needs changing and I have no clue as to exactly what I should do, except I do, I have just got to think.

Laying it down on it’s back is tricky, it does not want to remain there, keeps moving and wriggling, won’t stay still, does it not know am trying to help?

The wriggling and turning is frustrating me, yet I am not angry, just a strange sort of calm.

The baby’s in position and so too seems a new nappy, creams and some wipes, I must have laid them out ready, but I don’t recall doing it.

Then time jumps as oft it does in dreams, the baby and I are somewhere else, waiting for dinner, surrounded by people I don’t know, yet strangely seem to know.

The baby is being passed around, everyone wanting a cuddle, yet I selfishly sit there not wanting to let it go.

The baby sleeps while dinner is served, it’s an odd kind of meal, a Sunday roast served in oversized cocktail glasses, the meat at the bottom the vegetables layered over the top and a tomato to dress, as mental as that sounds it all seemed normal.

Still the baby sleeps, I find myself restless checking it’s still breathing. Conversation round the dinner table, we are all talking like old friends, I seem to be a part of this family, yet screaming inside of my head, is the thought they see me as someone else, they have me confused.

I know I should leave before I am discovered for the fake that I am, before they realise, what if they take the baby? yet strangely I don’t want to leave, I want to hold on to this moment, this dinner, these people, this life forever, I feel content and happy here.

Then I was rather rudely awaken by the alarm clock, left once more in a disarray as reality collides like a thunderstorm with the land of dreams.

These dreams seem more constant now, more real, always the feeling I can’t shake in the day.

Do dreams have purpose and meaning in life are are they just dreams? random fractions as the mind clears it’s way?

Today I am working a friends shop, stood in Barnsley, there seems to be an abnormal amount of baby’s around, everywhere I look, may be its nothing new, may be I never saw before.

May be I will never know the answers, but I would have liked to have stayed in that dream a while longer.

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~ by Duma Key on May 12, 2014.

One Response to “More dreams!!!!”

  1. Argh now the baby again… no wonder it is screaming at you… you are still not embracing your inner child.. and loving YOU.. in your last post you said you had much dark to make up for.. ( forget the past ) now look to the future.. The Full nappy is telling you that.. change it.. let go of all the sh** in life… 🙂 You want to be accepted… for who you are… You are wanting to be part of the family circle in your dream… You are not a Fake!… Can you not see now how this dream is guiding you.. 🙂

    Big smiles… you need to love yourself more.. nurture yourself more.. and trust in your instincts more…

    Love and Blessings… Sue xoxox

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