Perfect moments…..Thoughts in progress

There are no such thing in life as perfect moments. I once read of a character that spent her life searching out perfect moments, everything had to be perfect, ready for that perfect moment. She arranged shawls in the room, certain types of light, always awaiting the perfect moment, which of course never came.
As life progressed she discovered that you can not find a perfect moment, they are reserved for art, works of fictions, preserved for eternity, to entrap and entice and as a result found her whole life, was lost.

In a way there are no such things as perfect moments, but a whole series of moments that lead up to something, that perhaps has a purpose. These moments can not be staged, they are natural and pure.

The first date, as I mentioned previously went well, the food was excellent, the wine as always amazing and the company was good. My previous worries over conversation topics and those awkward silences, were laid to rest with in the first few minutes.

We talked about past endeavours, extensively, an odd topic of conversation for a first date, but it worked for us.

Later that evening we arrived back at mine, we sat out in the garden drinking pink Champaign over ice, the little burner kicking out heat as dusk set in and I realised the time spent on the garden, those little moments all seemed to flow over to this one moment, all led to the same thing, just blissful harmony.

The sun set, the light dimmed, the string of little lights I hooked up around the patio area danced like our own tiny little stars, in our own private little haven.

Moments leading to moments, that define us as who we are.

I have been thinking more and more about these perfect moments, these chains of events that set in motion a reaction that leads to other things.

Lets step back awhile, when I first met S, I was a very different person to who I was once I left, yet when I left I was a very different person to who I am today, very messed up, very confused.

The important thing isn’t really what happened, but the defining moments that led on to that night in the garden with someone new.

We touched on S, her comments made me think, “Some people in life are simply out for what they can get, they have no thought or regard for anyone else but themselves, and will simply take everything that is on offer and walk away with out a care in the world, there is nothing you can do about those kinds of people, they are just simply there, that is who they are and we have to accept that.”

I think I may have been one of those people and it took the serious of events that followed to make me see, to make me try harder and to become better, and to become better with each and every breath I take.

Like the slow and laborious work on the garden, it was time, effort and pain, but that time effort and pain led to what I can only describe as the nearest thing I have come to a perfect moment. That simple easy late Saturday evening.

“S” is a part of my past, a lesson learnt a defining moment leading to a perfect moment far, far away. She can no longer hurt me, influence me or touch me, she was a moment in time.

I have been searching for meaning to life, some kind of balance that equates the pain with something, but may be I am over complicating something so simple.

It is the moments that matter, it is how we choose to see and use those moments, that defines us and leads ultimately to a natural progression of the perfect moment, or a never-ending, perpetual flow of imperfect moments with a deeper burning quest to create the perfect moment.

How we define and grow ourselves, how we reflect on others and how we seek to be. One can’t just plant a seed and expect the perfect bloom, it takes time, care, nurturing and love to get that perfect bloom.

As dusk fell and we talked, it was like time stood still and everything that ever came before it exploded into that one perfect evening, every hurt, every tear, every mind wrenching thought, every single time I questions myself……all seemed to lead to that point.

As we sat, drank our Champaign and talked, every word exchanged mattered and for the first time ever I threw away the iron mask and simply laid myself bare, with honesty and sincerity.

Moments………come and go……unless we nurture them, learn from them….we are lost in a sea of endless moments never finding the true perfect moments.

A kind of thought in progress!

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~ by Duma Key on August 11, 2013.

2 Responses to “Perfect moments…..Thoughts in progress”

  1. Now this is what I call……….. just PERFECT! …………. so good to SEE you Duma, as you let go of your masks…… and meet who you were all along … YOU… as you let go of the Past and live in those Now moments…

    Blessings sent with sincerity ..
    Sue

  2. wow….I come here and smile every time now….course looking at the cooking stuff has now made me hungry….but a smiley hungry….I hope each moment from here on out becomes maybe not always perfect…but a light in your life…..hugs to you

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