Where did it all go wrong?

Turn on the TV, Bombs in Boston? What kind of sick fuck plants a bomb, takes the away the life of an 8 year old kid? Humanity sickens me to the core.

Little 8 year old boy, who doesn’t understand politics, race, religion any of this shit….destroyed, life stolen away in seconds.

What is wrong with these people, are they sitting there now, down the pub with friends feeling proud? Did whatever crazy motive really justify the loss of innocent life? Is this what a God would want? Murder???? “I AM YOUR GOD, GO KILL A FEW PEOPLE IN MY NAME?” Come on people common fucking sense….where in any religious scripture does it say go plant a bomb, blow some people up?

Political protest…….Go chain yourself to a lamppost, print some banners, organise a fucking march…….but blowing people up??????

Where did it all go wrong? How did we get some fucking messed up?

Yer I am feeling a little mad today, angry at just about everything and everyone.

Music normally cools me when the waves of blackness de-send but none of my extensive library is working today, too many memory’s locked in the tunes…..I bought some new stuff a long way from my normal genre.

Blackness has gripped me the last few days, came home on Sunday and suddenly realised how empty my house is and I just don’t seem to fit in anymore, anywhere.

The whole of my lifestyle has and is changing, I moving away from things of the past yet not quite on the future.

There are some demons I need to battle to straighten out my mind, at the moment it’s like looking into a deep dark lagoon the sight aint pretty, but this is who I was.

I have no need for words today……Nor Vodka……!!!

~ by Duma Key on April 16, 2013.

2 Responses to “Where did it all go wrong?”

  1. The answer does not lie in the bottom of a bottle of vodka anyway my friend, we both know all that lives there is more demons, more blackness. It’s ok to be angry, it’s ok to feel confused, to feel lost, to feel like you want change but can’t see the change coming. Out of this blackness comes creativity, comes the next corner.

    The thing is change is coming, everyday we change, we grow, look at us Duma, look at how the years have softened our edges, look at how compassion has found an entry to our souls. We are no longer in the wilderness because we can feel, we feel when we are sober, we’ve felt love. Sure it might have been one sided, we might have rejected it, we might have not known what to do with it, but still we felt it.

    You are so much more than you imagine, so much more than you believe – if we leave one thing behind in this life, if we change one part of us that must be the judgements we give ourselves, we are not our parents Duma, so why do we let their disdain of us run through us? Why do we hold onto their view of us? We are good, our feelings have merit, we are worthy of happiness. Hold onto that my friend.

    • The answer never lays with the Vodka…..My days of dancing with miss smurnoff are over!
      Change is everywhere at the moment, through our times together on here….we have both changed….as we learn to adapt and see ourselves not as the shadows lost in the wilderness….but as people….as we learn about emotion and feeling…..things in the past we could not accomodate, nor even know.
      Like children we find this love thing, unsure what to do with it….and yet we learn…..we make mistakes….wrong people, wrong times……but still the purity is important a point so many normals miss.

      I am darkness at the moment, my eyes are black and my thoughts are shadows…….demons from the past I need to fight…….because I no longer want to be that person….the one with the mask, the one that runs……the broken lost shadow….and so I need to purge myself of these things….I need to break free and breath.

      You my freind are good through and through, your light has always shone through your words, there is so much hidden depth to you…..and slowly you are starting to see that…..and that is one of the rare moments I smile….for you!

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