Party thoughts!!!!

Party tonight, ever the outsider, the token guest…..until of course the trouble starts and fights break out.
Suddenly the host, everyone’s friend as I step in and break it up…..not my fight, not my party, not my problem……
And I wonder if anyone actually sees me, not the shadow or the image…..
On the door sorting out who comes and goes, I dare you to challenge me, to push me……am in the zone……cold as ice, hard as fuck…..I don’t care how you see me, how you judge me….what you think…..I knew the invite was a token gesture a way to keep control…..though you play me…..you miss the fact I see, I see right through your twisted world…..and tomorrow night my boys cover your doors…..take what I ask……and suddenly the pawn you played now runs the game and takes your world……
I didn’t want to fall back this way, it’s what I know, it’s who I am ……the first mistake was mine….I let love in….the second mistake was yours…..never mistake my kindness for weakness the sting in my tail is strong! Remember now as your world falls and mine grows…..it was your rules I played ……unfair ? Unkind? I never chose this path……you left me no choice!
See me now who I was, who I have always been, I drink a beer and shed a tear, ice cold, silent as night…..for all that could have been, before you chose to play your game.

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~ by Duma Key on November 2, 2012.

2 Responses to “Party thoughts!!!!”

  1. Arrgh sad Duma that people use you, the fact you see through it all is testament to your strength, Keep strong and dont become bitter and cold like your beer my friend…
    Wishing you a thought of Inner Peace
    Sue xox

  2. This makes me feel sad as fuck. Which means you wrote well.

    I never liked your words because you wrote of flowers and fluffy puppies. I just think the scope of your hate, is the exact scope of the love in you. Or you’d have nothing to say and no conflict.
    Just what I think.
    I hate people that analyze me, so sorry. I admire your willingness to just say it, whatever it is. I feel the words. Like slaps.
    “…..for all that could have been, before you chose to play your game.”
    This, the saddest part. I know this part.

    Pearl

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