This is the worst time of year for me, I wake and its dark, sleep as the light falls……months with out sun, with out light…..but my soul and my heart is dark……..I grew in the shadows in which I now dwell.
I let emotion slip and now I feel an ache, constant, uneven, unfair……I hate the way I feel…..and the way I am holding on…..I need to let go…..I just don’t have the needed skills…..before I would have smashed things up hurt all that came and went before….now its different…..suddenly I am in a maze I can’t control…….


~ by Duma Key on October 24, 2012.

3 Responses to “Lost”

  1. but to hurt you hurts me…..

    It’s one of the worst hurts. And to turn from hurting another, and to the emptiness of doing “nothing”, is a new terrible hurt. We feel we must “do” something.
    I like that your words about this are here. Letting go will always be the most painful thing, at least I believe so. But it is where freedom lies.
    Thank you for writing, Duma.

  2. ‘but to hurt you hurts me…’

    It is the worst feeling ever – you can’t even strike out in self defense without feeling each blow as though it were really meant for you…

    I feel this every day of my life – it is fading but it takes a hell of a long time D.

    The only thing I know for certain is that the people who deeply hurt me only care about how they feel themselves and how they appear to each other – they will never acknowledge the pain they caused me or accept any blame for it whatsoever.

    The only thing left to do is let it all fade away like the shadow it casts – and it will D…it will fade and you will one day heal.

    I wish you peace friend,

  3. You know, they say what goes around comes around.. Thoughts are energy.. I know things hurt and its easy for others to say Let if go.. but really I speak from experience when I say Letting go of the hurts we hang onto Free us.. for while ever we cling on, we dont allow happiness to come into our lives…
    Like a snake who sheds its skin, we need to let go of the old one before we can grow…
    Sending you a Cosmic Hug over the airwaves and a Healing Thought to lift you from your shadows…

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