Goodbye x
My Grandad died today……..and I wasnt there enough…….when he first came out of hospital I was, night after night I stayed with him, then he started getting better and I got lost in life…..and now he’s gone, and I am at work…..its the dead of night…..and I am falling apart……
And I am seeing me…….which makes me affraid……..and I am upset……may be I am not quite as hard or cold as I thought……
I am sorry I wasnt there and I guess at the end I let you down.
Dumakey's Weblog 
No – you didn’t D.
*HUG*
You just were doing life.
We all have to do life when we are here.
Please –
Would he have wanted you to just stop everything?
No.
I don’t know him – never met him – all I can do is remember my own…
She wanted to know that people were living.
She wanted to know that they would still be when she stopped.
The ones who leave us always stay for that…
They want to make sure we live on.
They don’t rest until we can.
Love to you D
*friend soft hug*
Use the email with this comment and find me anytime – I am here.
Love,
L.
Thanx for your words.
I just feel so numb at the minute and so much like I got lost in life that I forgot what was important…..I was wrong and now its too late……I was thinking of going to see him this week and now I cant.
At work I cant even be upset, I have to carry on with a normality that the outside expects……its like my whole life……its all become a mess and I simply dont know now how to stop it!
You can’t stop it – you just have to follow it until it slows down enough to catch up D.
Every storm has an eye – that place where, for a few minutes – everything just ‘stops’.
That finds you – when it does (and it will) use the quiet to gather your strength to wait out the tail end of the storm.
You are needed by people who haven’t even met yet – there is a reason for you to stay with us and make it through this.
I believe that and I hope I can convince you of it.
Peace,
L.
Stop stressing on your perceived let down, and focus on the positive. You were there with him when he was sick, and I know that meant a lot to him. Think of the good times you shared together. He is now free of earthly boundaries, as we all shall be one day. Your love for him, and his love for you shall never die. Do not add on to your sorrow by stressing on guilt. Guilt has no place for the present moment. Give yourself time to heal your heart from his lost; but get out of the self guilt; it shall destroy your spirit. I am sorry for your lost and pray for your strength.
BTW, read this poem I wrote some time ago….but most all read the comments…the comments inspired me.
http://cordiebw.com/2010/03/18/if-i-had-to-do-it-all-again-2/
Peace, Light and Love,
C