9 hours in the office today, as a rule I don’t work Sunday’s, but the thought of seeing her at church this morning was too much, that pretence and mask…..I just couldn’t do it. I needed to do something…..loose myself in work…..find my world in words……

Friday evening I was dumb, sent her an e-mail, I guess I just wanted to see if she ever really cared, if it ever meant anything…….ever since I have been checking my e-mail just for a response, yet nothing…..not even dignified with a response……and I hate once more how I check my e-mail, how I can’t take the power back……and how much this hurts……

It’s not hard to respond, not a big deal…..but like everything else was all lies and I just want to find some good from this. See some good in her.

I couldn’t treat anyone that way…….

I have to stop this!!!


~ by Duma Key on August 28, 2011.

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