Crazy, Crazy…..Crazy….!

Been a hard few days, where even I have struggled with the reality I am now faced with.

I knew this was coming, read the signs for a while, I just never envisaged it would come like this so fast and so cruel.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, a lot about me has changed this last year or so. I got involved with the girl who was still in love with her ex, the local drug dealer, got to know her children. While I was running around after her, she played away.

We split, then managed to create this very public idea of a family and a normality that didn’t exist, pretty much how it was from the start.

Over the last few weeks, things began to change, once more her text messages became a little blunt, the customary “x” vanished, then the silly reasons to create an argument came about……and now this.

I was in the shop, the idiot also…….when I got back she said…..You have just seen him in the shop. If there was no contact between them, how could she have known he was there? I simply asked if she was seeing him again……to which she flipped saying I had been reading her e-mails.

Its clear that they had been talking again, despite the fact he is now married. I never read her e-mails.

I think she was looking for a reason to push me away, and this gave her the angle. I do not know why she could not be honest and say?

Thinking about it now, it seems all one long game. She blocked me from facebook and removed the kids from my page, blocking them also, with one fell swoop all gone.

I know it should not bother me, but it does I don’t think I have ever felt a pain quite like this.

Over the time we had together the kids became an important part of my life, I guess I learnt to love and to care, I know that there was nothing I wouldn’t do for them.

I know she is wrong, she never loved me, simply played a game to get back with him…..she is not even my normal type of girl… for a start would make me run. Yet somehow I have found something that burns me.

I know its bad for me, I know its all wrong……..but this hurts……Crazy, Crazy….Crazy


~ by Duma Key on August 9, 2011.

One Response to “Crazy, Crazy…..Crazy….!”

  1. Woe is the He. . .

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