The Lies we tell……..

We can never really see ourselves because of the lies we tell ourselves, to justify our own actions and our own choices, and until the day comes when we can break this cycle, see the ugly naked truth about ourselves, we will for ever be lost.

I have been thinking a lot of late about truth, and how we find it, define it and hold it.

Truth in its self is a flawed concept, we justify our own actions in the name of truth to protect the self, but then the truth itself becomes distorted and is no longer truth “as was” but more a” truth as” is. No doubt in our own minds that this truth is the actual truth, but is it in reality? Or are we just covering up the ugliness of our own actions with a form of self-justification, a means to once more protect our eyes from the raw and ugly nature of humanity and our true self’s.

Truth is only pure at the moment of its birth, there after it becomes open to interpretation and thus modification, that truth by small measures at first begins a new life, it grows, becomes embellished and eventually turns into something else..

Sometimes we do not want to face the truth, the whole enormity of it becomes too much for the mind to bear, so we make excuses, we find reasons and we filter truth to become only what we want to see, to accept.

I guess over the last year, I myself have been doing a lot of that.

I keep returning to the premise that we can never really see ourselves because of the lies we tell ourselves, and the more this dull and lazy Sunday afternoon I think about this the more I see the reality in.

Life is about choices, every second of every day we are faced with choices, let’s not be fooled by this lets accept the “truth” everything we do, every second of every day is all about choices, and it is these choices that define our life’s. Now add into the mix the concept of truth as we know it and the fact we can never really see ourselves because of the lies we tell ourselves and you have one big mess, that constitutes everyday life.

What do I mean by the lies we tell ourselves?

“She meets someone else, after a long and complicated relationship she is seeking revenge on her former love, who has found someone else, she tells herself that she too wants someone nice, that she wants to move on”

Of course this is a lie, she actually wants her former lover and the third party brought into the equation is just a pawn – The Truth which she then turns around to be that she is moving on, the justification, so instead of seeing herself as is, she chooses to see herself in a different way, as clearly seeing someone else when wanting her former love is not a nice thing to do, and we do not like to see or think of ourselves as bad people.

As the time moves on, she starts to see that her new version of truth is the reality and projects this image, the lie manifests into reality, so when she invites the pawn around to her house, knowing that his car will be on display and the former love will see she has a new interest, it is because she wants to see the new interest and is not playing a game. And so the game begins, but in her own mind we have a harmony, a truth modified.

Now concepts of truth and ideas, will change over times, so the lies we tell ourselves will also change over time.

So for example, when the former love sends her a text, she replies, justifying this under the concept we can be friends or have unfinished business and its only text messages so that’s ok further justification for the new truth.

As the texts unravel and the former love wants her back, she justifies things as well it’s not really working with the pawn, and I have tried, yet the actual truth is…….she never really wanted it to work, she wanted the former love.

She then justifies things as clean cut, she wasn’t really cheating after all, by spending every second of every day texting her former love, whilst with the pawn, she justifies being rude and downright awful to the pawn, because things are not working out…and so her conscious is clean and she sees only what she wants to see.

Now spin it around, if she was honest and did not modify the truth, the only reason she contacted the pawn via Facebook one long night ago, was simply to get back at her former love. The only reason she continued things with the pawn was to make the former love jealous, and to gain him back, at no point did she stop to either see the pawn, or listen to the pawn hence why things did not work….they did not work because she was playing a game and using another innocent to aid all of which makes her a bad person…… the modified version of truth suits more, she justifies sleeping with the former love while still pretending to be with the pawn, by saying things were not working, without actually accepting the fact they could never work, because she wanted the former love and never the pawn.

So truth is modified and now no doubt in her own mind she is pure in action, her truth is the truth and she was never really unfaithful and not a bad person. The choices she made, were the only choices available, the only option available at each set of cross roads, and she has done the right thing and is happy.

So you see by modifying truth, by adapting it to fit chose and by playing games, we justify our own actions, but because of the lies we tell ourselves we can never really see ourselves, because in order to do so we have to accept the ugliness of our own self’s and in so doing accept not only the good with in but the bad……..we can never truly be free……never really see ourselves because of the lies we tell ourselves……

My thoughts this dull and moody Sunday…..



~ by Duma Key on July 11, 2011.

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