The Ugliness of Man and the Absurdity of Society

The ugliness of human kind, and the absurdity of the society in which we dwell, (dwell not live, for I fear that in all this madness we have forgotten how to live), never ceases to amaze me.

Yesterday, bitter cold within the air and dampened winter rains falling from darkened skies above, my soul felt drawn and dark, as often this time of year brings about, I needed to uplift myself and slip free of chains that bind and tie, step out and breath awhile.

Through the echos of yesterday I walked, through memories of childhood dreams, the places I used to run and play, once so free, so innocent, retracing the steps of the living with the footsteps of the dead. This area is dark now, empty beer cans, discarded bottles, burnt out bins and broken window panes reflect the trail of the future, reflect the shadow of the times that fall upon our very door, the broken edge of society.

My breath dancing upon on the air, the bitter winds biting at my ankles, my mind filled with thoughts of memories of times gone by, of what once was and what could have been. Across the street a calling cry for help befalls my ears, rips deep with in my heart, an innocent, beheld now by darkness vail. An old man calls, been thrown around by two shadows of today, much bigger, much stronger, they have there eyes on the goods he carries, the pension money with in his pocket, the means to feed, cloth and heat himself. They want what he has got, violently they pull at him, his pleading eyes call out for help, his fear a stretch that fills the very air I breath and causes heart to race. In  seconds I see the good people, the caring and the loving, the christian souls of law abiding times, cross the road, depart, scurrying like rats into the gutters and the underground, anything to avoid getting involved.

Amazed I stand and stare, am I the only one that’s seeing this? Two shadows tearing heart and soul out of light, bold as brass they stand, they do not care, yet no one comes, despite the heart felt cries for help. Is this really how we justify our own existence, by burying our heads in the sand.

I cross the road and pull the first one free, the other calls these words that even now echo through my mind….”Everyone’s a hero….” brandishing metal edge….”get lost you fool” his last words before the ground he sees spiting blood and teeth, red blood boils as anger spills, like his blood pouring, pulsing through my very veins, my core. Eyes no longer seeing, number one now turns to me, I feel the crack of breaking bone, blood racing from what was once his nose, the jaw is next and still on they come.

I have walked in the valley of shadows, I have fought on the streets of darkness, my heart harbours secrets of times gone by, the things I have seen, the things that I have done, the echos that touch only in dreams, that serve to remind of who I once was, that call of once long ago, yet far from forgotten. I think I am supposed to be afraid, yet do they not see that behind my mask, my shadow is far darker, for deeper than there’s will ever be, why then don’t they run from me?

Flashing blue lights, men with little sticks, guardians of the moral and upright, of the rats that ran into the gutters, scurried heads held down, just to get away, so as not to see. They come, paper pads out, just as rats slowly gather, now its safe the boys in blue have come to save the day, they sneak back out from hideing, slowly at first, they come with there tales to tell.

I am not really a fan of those that come with the masks of the moral, I try to slip away, the old man is safe, his goods once more his own, his money safe for now. Its the ever after that I fear for him. Tomorrow, alone the fear will creep in under doors and window frames, though he will try to block it, relentless it will come, shadows will make him jump, streets upon once he walked, will become his enemy as every moving branch, every passing person, will inside become a threat, its the ever after now that will engulf him, swallow him, eat him alive, my heart is sad.

As I prepare to make my exit, his terror filled eyes meet mine, that raw human connection, he grabs my arm and utters words of thanks through shaking teeth, he asks my name as those starch filled uniforms approach, the words the rats have told, the words the two shadows spoke through blood stained teeth, have merged, my exist is now no longer possible, in trying to save the old man, I am guilty of assault and must accompany them to the station while they straighten this out.

Red blood still boils, I acted to stop an innocent being hurt, I stepped in the way of the shadows, who would have stopped at nothing to get there prey. The old man speaks, places reason at there table, white anger builds with in, I need to breath, step free, calm the beast inside, I feel him rage, that other part of me long lost, pokes through.

The rules, the rules….the rules that make no sense, that simply now live to feed the rules, that are the rules, to define the rules, that feed the rules, that lost there purpose long ago, when a frail old man, can be battered in the streets, but  say do not help, as the rules make you more guilty than the guilty.

4 hours later I am released, charged with assault and some public order rule, they brandish out of no where, they can not have the public taking law into there own hands, no they would much rather have some frail old man, battered unconscious, left for dead in the streets, and the shadows that hurt, the evil that runs, left free unhindered.

Should I have walked away? Scurried like rats of the moral and just? Seen with unseeing eyes? Its that where morality lay these days? Should I have let them take what they want? enjoy there fun? while innocents suffer? all in the name of this fucked up mess they call the law? How would I sleep? Knowing the mess they would have made? knowing that I walked away?

Now how do I sleep, pending court case lay ahead, as I result I will probably loose my alcohol license, as only morally upstanding people should hold it, and the icing on the cake, my solicitor informs they will probably want compensation.

I called today upon the old man, he asked to see me, a face unknown a story of his own. I could sense the fear creeping in under doors, deadly like fog as I sat and I listened, drinking coffee, feeling a sadness engulf me, knowing what he already knows but refuses to admit, its not today, its tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow ever after that the nightmare will bring. As tough as things are for me right now, they will be harder for him, the rug has been pulled from under his feet, and he will see what I see every day, the shadows and darkness, yet I am conditioned, he is not.

He tried to offer me money, though I have none myself and could have much used that, I can not take profit or delight in the suffering of another. I refused with a promise to return, keep in touch, that sadly I know I will never keep.

This system is crazy, there is more blood on its hands than could ever be washed away by one hundred thousand tear drops form one hundred thousand oceans.

If this is the world of the normals, keep it, as I want no part.

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~ by Duma Key on December 4, 2009.

13 Responses to “The Ugliness of Man and the Absurdity of Society”

  1. the easiest way to get in trouble is to try to help someone.
    this is a great story.

    • So it would seem, just sad that life falls to nothing more than rules written on some paper, vision and truth expelled left to wander alone in the wilderness for absurdities sake!

  2. Each choice would have had consequences….There were rules to be broken either way….You made the only one that you could live with. So how can it be wrong? Amazing perception, amazing writing. Thank you.

    • Thanks for your comments, or as someone else said Thought-prints, I love that expression!

      I guess that is all we can do, choose the path we can live with, the days of right and wrong seem to be lost in the mist, confused with the here and now, mixed up with the rules that breed like vermin and prey upon the very system they were designed to protect.

  3. I sit here, moved, disgusted, saddened, uplifted, anxious…. The comment above said it so well… either way there was going to be consequences. In this world of dark and light, the scenario you so brilliantly described had to happen. And as you pointed out, will happen again.

    Duality is our planet and shadows our constant companions. But shadows don’t have to define us or our world. They just are – like the glass with water. It’s neither half-empty nor half-full. It’s just a glass with water in it.

    Suffering comes from our stories about the glass. I was once in a situation where I could easily have been raped – very scary building, in a city I had never been to before, with a near homeless man I had just met. I was in his apartment because of an experiment – and I sensed that if something like rape happened, I would be ok. I would have been fine with it.

    I can’t describe this to you in words… It was as if a fullness had entered where dark and light were just footnotes. Beingness was all there was. And I was in love with it all. “Good” and “Bad” were empty of meaning. Life alone ruled.

    And I saw it was perfect.

    And I know that to the mind, that makes no damn sense. So I just offer it to you another possibility…

    • Shadowplay, that has to be one of the most intense comments I have ever had the pleasure to read. Its more than a possibility opens up a whole host of doors to thought, a realm of possibilities with in a universe of infinite freedom beyond restriction.

      “Duality is our planet and shadows our constant companions. But shadows don’t have to define us or our world. They just are – like the glass with water. It’s neither half-empty nor half-full. It’s just a glass with water in it.”

      I love that thought, I cant get it out of my head.

      Thank you for such a deep and thoughtful insight.

      • Have you heard “Bodhisattva” by Steely Dan? For some reason, when I think of you, it comes to mind (not so much for the lyrics – I’m just intrigued by the notion that there are Bodhisattvas walking around…) Namaste…

        ~April

  4. the path of the future is paved with ignorance as we move into a generation of selfishness. this country has become what it once tried to escape. perhaps it is the nature of the beast. we would call ourselves civilized and yet we are as neanderthal as ever – we are territorial, we run in packs, we try to bend entire countries to our will for the sake of government in the name of morality and even religion. we should be ashamed. and yet we are only as good as our worst mistake.

    its hard to find the beauty of anything anymore, short of sharing a common sadness. we all live under an invisible sun that hope is more disappointing than not.

    may we all find a warm, safe place to die.

    • “its hard to find the beauty of anything anymore, short of sharing a common sadness. we all live under an invisible sun that hope is more disappointing than not.”

      Such wise words Charles….. depth of meaning and sums up so much.

  5. Dumakey, I just hopped over from ‘Shailsnest’. I am a great fan of Stephen King and Duma key struck a chord. It was a great post. There may be positives from this experience. You might have inspired a few of the ‘scurrying rats’, that it might make it easy for them to stand-up to badness the next time. There is a purpose in every action. For you and others too. Will come back for more. Cheers!

    • Thanks for your “Thought-prints” Govind. There is light and dark I guess in all situation’s, just finding it seeing it and opening the mind to view it.

  6. Funny how reading this I find myself shaking my head – not because of your actions, but because of your descriptions – beautifully crafted words filled with deep meaning and intense feeling yes, but your self vision so blurred.

    It is not darkness that takes steps towards protecting the light, it is not the bad who stop where the good run by. You shone the light, you brought the light to the darkness of the situation.

    Those rats, keepers of disease, gnawing on the dead and the sick and the needy, they represent the darkness, scurrying into the underworld, blinding themselves from what they see.

    Fear, ignorance, lack of compassion but talkers of unobtainable morals – they do not represent goodness, they do not shine from the pit of their own wilderness to still reach out a hand to the meek.

    You, my friend, you who dwell in the shadows, in bitter memories of colder days, you who judge yourself so harshly yet expect so little of others, you shone the greatest light of all and it came from what you hold naturally within.

    • Thanks Lou-Lou for your comments and your thoughts, as always wise words. I love the way you write, such style and grace.

      “but your self vision so blurred.”

      Such a powerful line, leaving open doors for so much thought, a phrase I think that too applies much to you!

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