Conversation with self

It’s late, the hours tick away and morning creeps upon us once more, sleep held back by worries of the old and the new.

Its time now to take control, stand back and breath.

This last year has been a nightmare, there is no escaping that all you built has washed away as time fell apart, but you know better than this, when did material goods matter? when did they become important? when did that line get crossed? was I sleeping then?

Empty pages lay still in printers jaw, the beginning made that lacks the middle and the end, it’s not that words wont come, but that fact you blocked the channels as you freeze alone and suffer in silence.

You know the old ways do not work, and ok the mistakes of yesterday can not be erased, but lessons learnt, you moved on from there, that old person is but a shadow of you, but you do not see, still harbour regrets, still hold the blame, in those days even I did not want to know you. That beast is tamed, you turned away and built a better life, shut out the shadows, and inside your own mind suffered more a million times. Its time to let go. Time to move on.

This time is hard, but it’s also new ground, time to plant seeds for tomorrow, not harvest crops of yesterday, time to find you, a whole life running is a wasted life and lets face it thats all you have done! One place to the next, one image to another, you created your reality with words that now sit on bookcases across the globe, empty and forgotten, its time to find you.

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~ by Duma Key on December 3, 2009.

10 Responses to “Conversation with self”

  1. “Empty pages lay still in printers jaw, the beginning made that lacks the middle and the end, it’s not that words wont come, but that fact you blocked the channels as you freeze alone and suffer in silence.”

    I love this paragragh. It is so pretty. Sad. But very pretty.

  2. Letting go of what was is a hard but doable task. New beginnings unfold those parts of us we never acknowledged or knew existed. Looking forward is a good place to be :).

  3. Empty pages lay still in printers jaw.

    i guess this is the punk rock version of Traffic’s “Staring at the empty pages” or Chicago’s “25 or 6 to 4”.

    it really stands out like the eye of a storm.

  4. i’m with mckenzie (unabridgedgirl) beautiful writting

  5. This time, past time do lead to new ground and the peace we seek…thank you Duma Key

  6. The more I read your blog, the more I get addicted to it. Your words are just like a flame to a moth, they’re so powerful beyond explanation.

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