Still no news…..!

The weekend bears down upon us once again, with crashing weight it comes down hard and still I have no news, no call, no letter, nothing at this point even a rejection notice would be better than the not knowing! My mind is chasing dreams, I keep telling myself something will come up, but who is the fool when one tries to fool oneself?

Rain pours now, the sun is gone, outside now matches in. My thoughts are random anything to put stay to the darkest thoughts that run through my mind and steal my soul, trying to keep myself occupied, my mind busy, in a world that becomes more and more crazy every day.

I am really not sure if I am loosing my mind, I found myself talking to myself, and then there is the burning need to fight, the scales have tipped so unfairly and I want to even the score, but then will the pain caused equal the pain induced? will the scales really right themselves? Round and round and round we go, where it ends who will know?

There are cracks in the fabric of reality and death oozes in, like blood, blood red, what was once white is now so stained, is covered over with the thickest cast of red, and all becomes one as it oozes forth into that darkened ever filling river, the river of blood, and death himself sails with pirate flags waved high, and casts his net out far, fishing for souls, the souls of the dammed and the lost, the hurt and the broken.

There is no tomorrow, there is no happy ever after, there is only the mundane, the blood red stench of death, the rat trapped in the eternal wheel, and those that fill themselves with the food of the hungry, steal the money from the hands of the poor, that pride themselves on growing ever fatter, the people that take the words so given forth and twist and turn them, that take the sweet music of life, and mess with the melody so the tune becomes lost and the people turn mad, running now head long into a wall, over and over and over again, whilst the world turns, and night follows day and the sounds are all wrong and the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, when is someone going to wake up and see the insanity of it all? the waste, the loss? How many more twisted haunted souls will be scooped up in deaths long nets as he sails down the rivers of blood?

I want to break free, smash this box I am in, break down the walls and see…..taste, and smell the freedom, the circling mendip rim, the emptiness of how it once was and how it will eventually return, when the fighting stops and the streets are gone, when the words are free once more to be words, and the melody returns, the notes prized forth from the hands of the thick and the greedy, who will hang on till the very end, hold on to it all with vast engulfing hands of greediness that fail to see the nothingness of what they hold, the pointlessness of all.

I can not figure out the difference between the sanity that is and the insanity of it all.

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~ by Duma Key on June 6, 2009.

13 Responses to “Still no news…..!”

  1. You blog post reminded me on some of the words about a song from the play RENT “Forget regret–or life is yours to miss. No other road. No other way. No day but today…I can’t control my destiny. I trust my soul” ~RENT

    Keep moving forward my friend.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Giovanna Garcia
    Imperfect Action is better than No Action

  2. It is the unfortunate part of life that so much of what we do relies on someone else, not ourselves.

  3. Focus on that which you can do and control and allow the rest to happen. When we chase something it runs away, when we stand still and allow that which we desire often comes to us.

  4. You need a long walk, a good cigar, and a nice bottle of wine.

  5. hi, Duma Key!!!!

    how are you??

    long time I have been absented…

    I hope everything is ok…

    kisses

  6. I am keepinh my fingers crossed, and hearts hopeful for you. It is very interesting to read through your ups and downs as you wait for news – I hope that doesn’t sound like voyeurism (sp?). I think you should collect these thoughts, once you’re in a place you feel you can, and try and publish them. Might bring some hope or comfort to others in the same situation. Thankyou for sharing this with us x

    • Thanx for your comment. Interesting idea… at the moment I am simply venting my frustraion and trying like mad to keep my mind focused and stay some kind of posativity

  7. I am keeping my fingers crossed, and heart hopeful for you. It is very interesting to read through your ups and downs as you wait for news – I hope that doesn’t sound like voyeurism (sp?). I think you should collect these thoughts, once you’re in a place you feel you can, and try and publish them. Might bring some hope or comfort to others in the same situation. Thankyou for sharing this with us x

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