Crunching Numbers… the world stands still yet still spins

The world is spinning, moving onwards, its pace relentless as time, marching on and on, while my world stops drops from its orbit, leaving me wondering once more, with pounding questions why, once more.

Crunching numbers on my laptop, trying in vain to find away to make the pieces fit, as the light began to shine, the road became clear and finally I found myself upon level ground, heading for the final straight, in come the over powering brewery, the publicans eternal enemy, increase my prices and up the rent. No matter how hard I look, how many times I crunch the numbers, shave some of here and there, I can see no way to keep this ship afloat, the work, time and dedication, I put in now fall, and I can see this place now slipping fast and hard away.

I know not now what to do for the best, but time ticks the world still spins as my world falls in pieces around my feet, the reality is that soon I could end up with no place to live and no job, at one of the worst points I can recall. No matter how the numbers juggle they will not balance now.

Falling fast and hard, yet the world still spins, it goes on like nothing else matters, like the issues now racing through my mind are not there. It hits me how easy it would be to drown, while the children play and parents chat, while the world still spins, round and round. The bar is full, the restaurant full, people are here there and everywhere, no one knows just how much I sink, sitting here, in the bar, in the corner on what I have come to know as table 5. I smile, make conversation, laugh and joke when all I want to do is close the world away and scream.

I want to get drunk, I want to go fight, I want to hurt somebody to ease this pain, to ease the strain with in my mind. Futile I know. Everything is falling now, all that I was, the why and who in I. Darkness descends and I realise now this is my punishment for stepping into the light. People like me belong back lost with in the darkness. No eternal revenge seeks compensation and steals in, with in the dead of night, her bite is sharp her venom deadly. Yet all this time the world spins, the cars pass, people go on and on living there life’s, while I drown slip silently away.

The world spins on and on, and on and on….. may be this time it will have to spin on with out one more.


~ by Duma Key on February 25, 2009.

5 Responses to “Crunching Numbers… the world stands still yet still spins”

  1. I am so pleased to see you posting, writing. But saddened also.
    “Everything is falling now, all that I was…”
    I don’t believe what is falling is all you are. Yet I believe I know this feeling.

    “Darkness descends and I realise now this is my punishment for stepping into the light. People like me belong back lost with in the darkness.”
    No. Don’t believe this at all, but I do believe the darkness would love to have you back.

    I have missed reading your words here, Dumakey.

  2. I understand the dark thoughts better than most, but after the battles we have fought for so long, would we really give up on the war? I think not. There is always a different route to take, or maybe it is fate that your world is turning so you can go off in a different direction, walk a different path?

    The world of money is crashing around all of us, it’s a cold time we are going through the world over. But you will be ok. Things will change.

  3. Just dropping by.Btw, you website have great content!

    THIS IS A DREAM JOB! No gimmicks. No catch. Work from home whenever you want!

  4. I don’t think you should be punished. But it is hard to take what life throws if it keeps coming, I hope you can find a way through.

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