Life seems to be so full of questions, yet there are so few, if any answers.  We try to find answers, ways to make things fit, or simply ignore, push to one side the things we do not wish to think about, like death.

I wonder a lot of the time what the point to life is, I mean from the moment we are born we are on borrowed time, death awaits, every passing second brings it closer, every minute is one minute nearer to the infinity of what lays beyond. Its a race we can not win. Death creeps in second by second ever closer, ever present, yet we ignore this fact, place it at the back of our minds, we know it is inevitable but refuse to accept it. Then where do we go from here? What lays beyond in the vast infinite unknown. We will spend much longer dead than we ever did alive. Do we come back for another go, an infinite loop in times great network, or do we simply cease to be? The light goes out, the flame flickers and dies, is extinct never to shine again. So many questions so few answers.

With all of this in mind, how meaningful is life, the world in which we live? Step aside from the natural, the earthly things the process of nature in its pure form, and look at the equation of humanity, the unnecessary variables that we bring to living, that we find so necessary to live by. Its like layer upon layer of nothingness, giving shape to meaning and definition, we seem to need to define things with in there own right, there own being, we need rules and regulations to teach us how to live. A simple thing of living has now become so complex and complicated we forgotten what it is to live.

Everything is shaped by rules and regulations, each more complex than the other, each requiring more definition, more meaning and hence more rules and regulations. A simple walk down a street requires a whole process of definition, a complex mess of rules. Walk in a straight line, be consistent, avoid others, stick to the pavement. Shoes are needed, clothes more  and more things. An animal does not worry about these things, its just free to roam, go about its business.

I feel pretty disillusioned with things, floating in a sea of craziness, I mean how can it be illegal to over fill a bin, yet it seems it is! Rules upon rules, goes on and on till madness prevails, each new rule requires 3 or 4 more to give it validity and they each in turn need 3 or 4 more, on and on, out of control.

I can not seem to focus on things, everything is blurred, In a world full of people I have never felt so alone.

I wonder about bending the rules, the silly rules that mean nothing. What if I just stopped walking in a straight-line down the pavement, instead zig zaged randomly? Its not like I am doing anything wrong, yet somehow I would be deemed as wrong. Clothes another random variable, we dress to define who we are, our gender our identity, yet does that matter, underneath the clothes we are still the same person, so how come we define male and female by what we wear? What if I turned up to work wearing a skirt? I mean again I do nothing wrong, but the rules dictate that I can not and so in an effort to fit in we conform, I conform, but I am actually wondering why? It is not like there is anything wrong, yet I would be pushed in to being wrong, defined by ideas and principles, rules and regulations, not the what and who of who I am. In effect I become someone else, we all do in a bid to fit in, we follow the rules we play the game, concentrating that much on being a part of the whole that we become just numbers on the great board of life.

In trying so hard to live, we have forgotten to live.


~ by Duma Key on August 7, 2008.

2 Responses to “Questions??????”

  1. I know what you mean.
    Those conventions and social constructions – really, they do strip humans of their essences.

    But I think at the moment we can only try and remember not to forget who we are.

  2. They take away creativity, individuality and slowly like acid rain errode away pure thought, we become another clog in the machine.
    Life as it is is so mixed up that its hard to define oneself outide of the social construct, I think its hard to forget who we are as we never really know in the first place, in a bid to “fit in” we kind of never really find ourselfs in the first place, replacing self with image.
    Just makes no sense to me!

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