Dreams

I awoke this morning to pale sunlight falling through the blinds, offering empty promises of forgotten hope. I didn’t sleep so well again last night, uncomfortable in myself, the power of dreams offering what the mind really wants, giving us what we really seek, in a dream everything seems so real, even the improbable is probable, we think nothing to the three headed dog that roams naturally up the street we walk.

In dreams we experience pure freedom, In my dreams I see myself, not the reflection that stares back at me each morning from the mirror in the bathroom, in my dreams I live unguarded by rules and regulations, that shape and mold the real world. The only guiding factor is what my mind can create.

My dreams last night gave hope, broken and patchy one moment I am asleep dreaming of a world that never was and never will be, then awake with a stale taste in my mouth, then slipping back in to my dream. In my dreams I am happy, here reality ceases to be and all that matters is the moment, the process of my thoughts, the world as I see it or want it to be. It is in these moments that we slip out of the fabric of reality and slide with grace into the world of endless possibility’s, boundless freedom, here anything can be, here we can be free to be who we are with out the constant fear of others casting eyes.

My dreams last night like the falling sun this morning offered false hope and empty promises but for those few precious moments of sweet freedoms call, I held on wanting to believe not wanting to awaken. I could almost touch the reality of what I face, just at my finger tips just slightly beyond my grasp, if I reach my fingers further, push out my arm, push through the pain then may be, just may be I could hold on, grip that dream and bring it forth from my mind, out through the fabric of unreality and back down in to the reality of the world in which I dwell. Just as all I hoped and wanted began to emerge form itself before my eyes, just with in my grasp, the harsh chilling call of reality kicks in and my alarm began to call.

Those moments after, when we awaken, between the two worlds, what is and that which will never be is where confusion nestles, rests awhile, here the reality of the dream still lingers on dancing in the pale morning sunlight of forgotten hope and empty promises, slowly as the fabric of reality unwinds and we awaken fully we are left with that empty burning feeling of a world that never was and never will be, a sad feeling deep inside, so close and yet never so far away.

As I finally came back down to earth a sadness grips for what can never be.

How did we become so lost in rules and regulations? where did the essence of who we are slip away to? Must a dream always stay a dream locked for ever in the minds eye?

As the day unwinds before me, my dreams slipper further and further away, so close this morning that I could almost reach out and touch them, could feel them on the ends of my finger tips, now a million miles away they drift far from me.

If I could catch a dream and just hold on, keep it store it, live it, never waking from that endless dream where I am free.

Yesterday evening running at the gym, pushing my body so hard, harder than I have done for so long, on that verge where the world begins to slide, where my body begins to slip I realised this is my life always running from me.

If only we could live in dreams, hold on to what we want. I guess that is why I like to read so much, in the pages of a book I can escape, I can slip inside, steal time back from this world and live inside another world.

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~ by Duma Key on July 15, 2008.

One Response to “Dreams”

  1. “”If I could catch a dream and just hold on, keep it store it, live it, never waking from that endless dream where I am free.”””

    I used to escape within a world of books so I could live that dream within the pages.. It took many years to understand it was my mind I had to learn and train to free itself from the bars it held me in..
    Now I breathe… and allow myself to be Free…. But sometimes I have to tell myself to take a breath…
    ~Peace to you ..
    Sue~

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