One of those nights
Nothing is right, everything becomes a mess. I don’t want to talk, I need to talk. Its late, I cant sleep, my throat hurts, my head hurts, I am hot, I am cold. Nothing makes sense.
This is the part of me I hate, the real part that breaks through when no on See’s. The door is locked the outside world at bay, my phone is off, to the outside world, no one is home. The lights are dim, I am hiding away, even words evade me tonight.
I don’t want to be here, yet some how I do, I need to move, but am frozen inside. Nothing is easy all beyond my grasp, I wish the world would stop, just pause, let me breath a while.
Why does it have to be this way, I always shut the world out, I can not let them in.
It is hard to let people in. I struggled with that for a long time until I was cornered into a postition where it was either letting someone in or ending my life and I chose life. It is not easy but I am glad I did it and it is now easier to let people in, not everyone though, I still have to make sure I can trust them in knowing the real me. Find at least one person you can trust and start from there. It will continue to get worse until you release some of the baggage you are holding on to. Hope this helps even if you weren’t wanting help.
They say it’s a fear of love.
gosh… beautiful mess
wow..